The KD Ratio!
The KD Ratio!
TV, Conspiracy Theories, and Ancient Civilizations. Oh My…
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Ever wondered how streaming giants like Apple are shaking up the movie theater scene with their original releases? Strap in for a whirlwind discussion on everything from the marketing hoopla of films like "Argyle" to the award season drama. Plus, don't miss our hilarious attempts to summon the correct names of stars like Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell from the depths of our memory – it's a riot you won't want to miss.
We're not just about the silver screen; our episode takes a wild turn into superhero lore as we dissect the transformative escapades of Morph from the X-Men and Rogue's underappreciated comic book prowess. From there, we serve up a juicy Nolan brothers' revelation that's almost too bizarre to believe – did Christopher Nolan really have a fugitive hitman brother? And stick around as we playfully theorize about Batman's true origins – it's a conspiracy theory with a caped crusader twist!
As if that's not enough, we then catapult you through a time-traveling conversation from the impact of WWII and British colonialism to the potential Hollywood depiction of Hannibal Barca. We're correcting history one laugh at a time, challenging what you thought you knew about ancient warfare, while sharing where to find more of our chaotic podcast banter online. Prepare for organized mayhem, eye-opening insights, and a side-splitting good time!
If you enjoy our episode's content, come check us out on twitter @KDratiopodcast, YouTube as The KD Ratio Podcast! or on Instagram KDratiopodcast
and we are live. Gentlemen, how are we doing? Today is april 30th hold on.
Speaker 2That's the level of energy I'm bringing tonight.
Speaker 1Let's wake the fuck up. It's a beautiful day, spring is in full-fledged mode.
Speaker 2That's not even fair because you're like you, better match my energy when I send this to you, dylan, and then you open up, like that it's required. No one can match that energy.
Speaker 1Let's fucking go boys Dylan.
Speaker 3Yes.
Speaker 1What are we talking about tonight?
Speaker 3We're talking about. You guys can fucking yeah, drink that coke man, let it hit, let it hit um but seriously, I wanted us to start talking about, um, how do you guys feel about streaming services putting movies in movie theaters? Like if if. Netflix does a theatrical release for theater I don't know of an example of Netflix doing it, but Apple, they recently did the Argyle movie. I personally really like that movie. I know some people weren't big fans of it.
Speaker 2I didn't know that was an Apple film.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's Apple TV original. It's made by the same people who made Kingsman, but it came out in theaters and then now it's on Apple TV, but I don't know how do you guys feel about that?
Speaker 1I fucking love it. I've been saying this for a while. I don't know how well it translates for a movie release, because I don't really see a lot of times that they market these well in advance, exactly.
Speaker 3It's sort of a different model. The issue that happened, I think, with Argyle, because I don't think it made money.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3And I don't think they marketed it well.
Speaker 1But if, like HBO, let's just take the you know Game of Thrones at its peak, I would have absolutely paid money to go and watch sort of their episodic releases, you know, for not a full movie price, I think, probably like $8, but something to get you in to buy popcorn and stuff. I would have absolutely probably done that with the wife and seen an episode of Game of Thrones in the big theater, especially if I knew it was like, because they always did those big releases, like episode 9 was the big one where everything happened and then 10 was like to let it go cold for until the next year. Yeah, so like I would absolutely pay to go see nine in the theater, because that was like we usually where they blew their load in terms of cgi, especially with like the dragon stuff in the later, in the later uh seasons. So I don't know how. Yeah, it's sort of it's tougher to to do with a movie.
Speaker 1I think I don't know how they they. They don't really have like a marketing budget. Right, their marketing budget is to drive you to the platform. Yeah, right, it's not to advertise specifically their products on the platform. So they'd have to change up their model a little bit, but I'm down for it. What you guys have on uh tonight before this, raising canes we have a.
Speaker 3I'm a caniac. I'm a caniac.
Speaker 2It was laced apparently.
Speaker 1I added salt. Yeah, fucking wild I'm reaching. It's a cream in a crop.
Speaker 3We had him specially fill his soda with something special.
Speaker 2You know, there's actually a stipulation to like award seasons where to be considered for movie categories, like at the oscars or what have you that there has to be some type of theater release? Huh so all these netflix streaming movies that like win oscars or whatever, not that they're, like you know, winning most of them aren't winning oscars, but um these streaming services films. They all already have a limited release but it's almost like indie style.
Speaker 2It's not really going to be at your, your theater, but um, like, uh, like amazon. Um, there's this one movie, that that swept the awards with Casey Affleck. I forget what it was called, but that was an Amazon movie and that had a limited release and because of that then it was able to be nominated for all these other awards.
Speaker 3So they all already release for a short period of time. Just so they fall in that category.
Speaker 2Just so they can be able to be nominated for an Oscar or what have you.
Speaker 3Huh, so have you guys seen Argo?
Speaker 2No, no. Henry Cavill. Yeah, lord of the Nerds, lord of the Nerds.
Speaker 3He's not even in it that much. Sam Rockwell is like a big Dude. I love Sam Rockwell. And then, oh, shoot Ron Howard's daughter. What's her name?
Speaker 2Jessica Howard, she's shoot ron howard's daughter. What's her name? Jessica howard, I don't. She's in jurassic world. Yeah, I forget her name, though. Um, oh, she also played gwen stacy, she did that's right, tell me why. Spider-man. What is her name? Her?
Speaker 3last name is howard howard.
Speaker 2Oh, dude, bryce dallas howard right there we go.
Speaker 3Yeah, um, I recommend it. I thought it was a really good movie, um, and it makes me really appreciate sam. What did I say?
Speaker 2his name was and you didn't, didn't appreciate him that much. Well, I want to say sam lake sam lake is from sam remedy well, sam rockwell.
Speaker 3Anyways, I didn't appreciate him that much, I guess because I forgot his name right.
Speaker 2I saw this video on youtube where it's like uh, that's sam lake max pain sam lake. He's in alan wake. He kind of looks like he does.
Speaker 1I know exactly what you're saying the guy from Community.
Speaker 2Joel.
Speaker 3McHale, he does kind of look like Joel McHale. Kyle was thinking somebody else. I was Brian. I was thinking of?
Speaker 2Definitely not. Oh God, I'm so bad with names tonight. Yeah, usually you're like bam right there the guy Jack Quaid. Yeah, usually you're like bam, right there the guy um Jack Quaid.
Speaker 3Jack Quaid.
Speaker 2I think is his name.
Speaker 3He's younger than that guy, oh, okay.
Speaker 1Who the heck is this? He's from the boys. He's Dennis Quaid's son.
Speaker 2He's Dennis Quaid's son and Meg Ryan's son.
Speaker 3He is yeah, nepotism, he's Meg.
Speaker 1Ryan, I'm sharing the second screen now.
Speaker 3Dennis.
Speaker 1Quaid and Meg.
Speaker 3Ryan had a kid.
Speaker 2Evidently they had Jack Wow Nepotism.
Speaker 1He's had an uphill battle his whole life to get into the industry.
Speaker 3He really had to fight.
Speaker 1It was very hard, meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid Not to take away from any of his accomplishments.
Speaker 3He was an Oppenheimer, he was. He's like one of the scientists that they bring in.
Speaker 1I didn't even know that. Is he one of the politically charged ones?
Speaker 3No, he doesn't even really do much besides. He brings one proposal up and he's like check this out. Look at this Look at this report.
Speaker 1Science.
Speaker 2He was in the hallway. I'm sciencing right now.
Speaker 1There's this famous scene that you walked by him in the hallway.
Speaker 2Yeah, he's right there, the top thing on reddit said no offense. But why is jack quaid in this movie?
Speaker 3like that's pretty sad. There was a few actors in that movie that I kind of felt like why? Why do we need them?
Speaker 2Like Josh Drake and Josh, he's the guy that pulled the switch.
Speaker 1I'm not questioning any of that. I think they wanted to be a part of something amazing, and they were.
Speaker 2I think everyone just wants to be a part of Christopher Nolan.
Speaker 1Part of him. They want a piece of that ass. Everybody wants to be in him.
Speaker 2Everybody wants to be in him, everybody wants to be in him or have him in them.
Speaker 1In his mind.
Speaker 2What are you talking?
Speaker 1about? What are you guys talking about?
Speaker 2His artistic process.
Speaker 1Where he goes really deep.
Speaker 3They reach deep inside and discover their natural talent.
Speaker 1They want to be touched by him.
Speaker 3In an artistic way. Makes sense.
Speaker 2Glad we're on the same page now. What were we talking about?
Speaker 3We were talking about Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell.
Speaker 2You know his God. I just had a voice crack, Sam.
Speaker 3Rockwell, sam Rockwell, sam Rockwell.
Speaker 2Every actor has their thing, their shtick, what they do. Sam Rockwell, I didn't even put this together. He dances in every movie he's in. He's got a dance scene Charlie's Angels.
Speaker 3Even in Iron man he dances when he goes up on stage.
Speaker 2Every movie he's in he's got some kind of little dance scene and he's actually not bad, I wish he'd throw that by the director.
Speaker 1Like I'm going to walk on this stage, I'm just going to hit a little twirl.
Speaker 3What do you think? He probably just does it, jon.
Speaker 1Favreau. What do you think? A little dance number here.
Speaker 2This is the guy that Jon Favreau casted Robert Downey Jr when no one else wanted to. I'm pretty sure he's pretty loose.
Speaker 1Just do whatever the fuck you want, just say the lines.
Speaker 3He's like what if I had a little?
Speaker 1razzle dazzle as long as you say the lines you do whatever the fuck you want. He's just delivering a super straightforward line like oh, yeah, I don't think we can do that I would love.
Speaker 3I would love to see more um what this guy does.
Speaker 2I would love to see more justin hammer yeah, like I feel like he was very underrated. I feel like he was more compelling than mickey rourke's character a hundred percent percent. I love that scene, like the conniving.
Speaker 3It's like the opposite of Iron man. If Iron man kept following his, you know shystery.
Speaker 2I love that scene when he's like selling all of his weapons to the government.
Speaker 3This is the actual life.
Speaker 2His pitch is so good. And then he didn't die in that movie, did he? He just went to jail. I think he just went to prison.
Speaker 3Yeah, unless maybe he did die.
Speaker 2That was like so long, that was like 2010.
Speaker 3Isn't that crazy.
Speaker 2MCU years, that's like decades ago. Multiple because they've now done like time jumps with the whole five years thing.
Speaker 3How's X-Men 97 going? I watched the first episode finally. I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2I thought it was good the first episode is nothing compared to. Compared to like where it's at first episode is it's good.
Speaker 3It grabbed me but I thought it was good but it's very um, everything feels all like shit.
Speaker 2hits the fan real quick. It feels all right, we're the X-Men Almost like his gripe where it felt like Saturday morning cartoonish. That goes out the door pretty quickly. But I do like that fight scene in the first episode when they took out the human when they finally got Trask or whatever. I love when Gambit charges up Wolverine's claws.
Speaker 3And then he jumps on Morph. Yeah who?
Rogue's Powers and Nolan Brothers
Speaker 2turns into like what blob for a second To like blast him up. Morph is a I never like. I always miss when he transforms. So whenever he transforms into a character, there's always that brief moment like what did that person get here? Like Quicksilver was in the last episode, but it was Morph as Quicksilver. He transforms into a character. There's always that brief moment like what did that person get here? Quicksilver was in the last episode, but it was Morph as Quicksilver. So when Quicksilver ran in I was like holy shit, it's Quicksilver. And then I was like oh wait, it's just Morph, is it done or there's still?
Speaker 2There's three episodes left that I haven't seen. I heard a theory. The final three episodes is a three-part finale, though I think yeah, Are they?
Speaker 1going to release them all at once. I don't know. That'd be cool. I hope so. Billy's going to love this theory.
Speaker 2The theory is that at the end, Spider-Man from the animated Spider-Man show is going to show up.
Speaker 1Dude. Captain America already showed up. Shit, spoiler, shit. Sorry guys, you just started watching.
Speaker 3It's been out for a week. It's three days. No, I saw. I watched in the show. I totally forgot that Rogue had superpowers besides killing people with her touch. Because they don't do it in the movies.
Speaker 2In the movies they don't give her right, so okay. So here's what people don't know. Rogue, her powers is she saps people's life energy.
Speaker 1I Rogue. Her power is that she saps people's life energy. I'm dialed in. All right, I'm dialed in. I'm the buddy. Teach me, I'm rogue. Let's grab the encyclopedia. Let's figure out every single power. So you've seen the movies right where she's like oh I'm too afraid to touch anyone and then, like what's-his-face can heal it through it.
Speaker 2so can like she wants to bang him because of that or something wolverine she's got like daddy, they've never banged but I know.
Speaker 1But there's like sexual maybe in the movie she's a child. In the movies there's definite sexual tension between her and wolverine it probably just went over my head from her.
Speaker 2He was like no, exactly.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, but she was like so anyways.
Speaker 2In the movies rogue does not even get close to her potential, but in the comics she started off as a bad guy and one of the first people she encountered was captain marvel, and so she has all the same powers as captain marvel, because she sapped her powers from her.
Speaker 1So she stores the powers that she says. I thought it was only like momentarily. Like that's how it's in the movie. She just doesn't.
Speaker 2She's not as powerful as she could be because she, like, could kill people when she does it, and so when she became good, she told herself she wouldn't do that anymore.
Speaker 3Yeah so she can fly, she has super strength. So I'm watching the, the cartoon, and you're like oh shit, like what?
Speaker 1what, whoever she touches? Hey, let me get some of that.
Speaker 2Oh, thank you, let's see you later, but that, like the only reason captain marvel survived is because she is as strong as she is, but that's how she got her is it when she does she steal it from you, or does she? She can mimic it, but most of the time the person that she takes it from dies oh, okay, yeah, so it's like a trend.
Speaker 1It's yeah. So it's like a day of transfers, it's got to complete.
Speaker 2But she didn't kill Captain Marvel because of some reason I don't know.
Speaker 3Doesn't she Charge that In the X-Men, the live action, doesn't she use Wolverine's healing powers somehow?
Speaker 2But they don't really do her powers right in the movie.
Speaker 3Yeah, but doesn't she?
Speaker 2she's like dying because wolverine wakes up and stabs her because he's having oh, that's right ptsd or something he's like stabs her, and then she like heals from him, and then everyone shits on her. Why? Would you fucking touch him like they make her feel all bad. It was like she was gonna die. Wolverine literally stabbed her in the gut. That's like a surefire way to die.
Speaker 3And then Storm goes. Why aren't you proud to be a mean, oh God.
Speaker 2Storm, yeah, on X-Men 3, when she's like it's not a cure because there's nothing wrong with you. Be proud of who you are. It's like, okay, you're like a god and she can't touch people. So what's the difference here? You know, and I don't know why Magneto's powers cancel out Rogues Something to do with his magnetism, I don't know, but he's the only one that could touch her for some reason.
Speaker 1He creates a force field.
Speaker 3I don't know, but that's their electromagnetic field.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2She's. Yeah, I like how in the cartoon they always have to make it clear when Magneto's using his powers. So whenever he touches something, there's a yellow aura around it. It's kind of silly, but at the same time it does make it very clear who's doing what when it comes to a fight, because it does get a little chaotic to try to figure out what's going on.
Speaker 3You're like what's happening, but yeah, so I'm probably going to finish watching that. I have so much on my list, though, to watch, including Fallout.
Speaker 2Speaking of which Fallout was directed. I don't know about all the episodes, but most of them were directed by Jonathan Nolan, christopher Nolan's brother.
Speaker 3The better director Jonathan Nolan is. What's his work? Fallout.
Speaker 2He did Westworld, but also Jonathan Nolan. He is kind of a ghost director on a lot of Christopher Nolan films and like a not a ghost writer, but he co-wrote a lot of Christopher Nolan's films with him. But he's definitely like the lesser known of the two brothers Interesting and I don't understand why. But Jonathan Nolan has an American accent.
Speaker 3Hmm, I feel like one of them is lying he doesn't have.
Speaker 2He doesn't have a british accent, and it's. You know. What's funny is?
Speaker 1there's some people who like, when they move to a place they can very quickly like they'll, they'll end up like losing certain things. I've heard of people who never break out of their accents, that have moved to the states and other people who have even moved from to different parts of the and all of a sudden you see them in three months and they've got a southern accent. You're like wait what?
Speaker 3And then we have the third, nolan brother.
Speaker 2There's a third.
Speaker 3Matthew Francis, matthew Francis, nolan, and is he doing anything?
Speaker 2I don't think so, matthew chose a life outside of film.
Speaker 1Wow. According to the Daily Mail, he works at Burger King.
Speaker 3I'm just kidding. Oh, he was arrested by FBI agents in 2009?. Whoa, that's what that first thing you clicked on said, millie.
Speaker 1Fact check Is Christopher Nolan's brother a suspected hitman called Oppenheimer? I'm gonna say no.
Speaker 3What's the fact? Check what is this News?
Speaker 2down. This is his fugitive.
Christopher Nolan's Brother Revelation
Speaker 3Go up. Learning that chris, known down the the twit, the tweet, oh, learning that christopher nolan's fugitive hitman brother's code name is oppenheimer is actually what turned me around on him entirely as an artist he made. It immediately made me want to revisit everything.
Speaker 2Mr Chow.
Speaker 3That was Mr Chow who said that.
Speaker 2Clearly a reliable source.
Speaker 1Dude. The internet is just not what it used to be Interesting. It's almost true.
Speaker 2The ruling needs context.
Speaker 1Wow, it's almost like all truth needs context. I guarantee you, this is just like fucking ai bullshit hold, that is chris riddle's older brother.
Speaker 3Hitman or not, it sounds like he went to jail, at least right, at least come on guys that's not this one, that's's the other one. This is the director. Yeah, here we go. It said his sordid past. You know, there we go. We got Hitman who murdered a man in 2009.
Speaker 1Batman Robin and murder For kidnapping.
Speaker 3Was wanted for kidnapping and murder.
Speaker 1I don't understand this.
Speaker 2Christopher Nolan's brother was accused of being there's multiple websites A hitman who murdered a US financier.
Speaker 1You know how many times we've broken down, nolan, and we don't know any of this, christopher Nolan's brother linked to murder. Okay, so just link. That's today, the Republic of Costa Rica has requested the extradition of Matthew Francis Nolan, pursuant to the extradition treaty of. Costa Rica. So the man fled to the Bahamas. What if this is Nolan's?
Speaker 2older brother was accused of being a hitman who murdered US financier in Costa Rica in 2005 and was caught trying to escape from Chicago jail as he faced extradition. And you'll never guess his fake name Oppenheimer Oppenheimer this is.
Speaker 1God. How is this not exposed? What the fuck? Breaking news.
Speaker 2This is Every website, this is. This is real guys. This is this is now canon.
Speaker 3We're on to something.
Speaker 2How, how. This is now canon. We're on to something. How is this house not breaking the mainstream it?
Speaker 1doesn't need to go mainstream, but how? You guys haven't heard of it. So how much you sip to this guy.
Speaker 3Anyway, it's Oppenheimer right. We made a movie called.
Speaker 1Oppenheimer, like, not once I didn't hit a headline.
Speaker 2What's the movie about his brother? I didn't even know he had a third brother or a second brother, rather.
Speaker 1I didn't know he had a third brother or a second brother. Rather, I didn't know there was three of them, because he's laying low. This is now canon for Nolan. For me, I don't care if it's true or not.
Speaker 2This guy might not even be real. So why do Christopher and Jonathan have different accents?
Speaker 3I'm curious about that. Click that one.
Speaker 2Jonathan dropped his accent after he moved to Chicago as a child, so they grew up separately.
Speaker 1One in the.
Speaker 3States and one, christopher, attended university college in London.
Speaker 1But I've also heard of where people will move. They'll assimilate really quickly and sometimes they'll lose their accent and never look back. There's other people who will go places.
Speaker 3I hate people like that.
Speaker 1You think it's?
Speaker 3just a choice, like when somebody moves to the UK and then all of a sudden they have a British accent Within a year.
Speaker 2Think they're trying too hard.
Speaker 3Yeah, they're like. Well, I went to go get a cup of tea.
Speaker 2It's like really bad, you lived in.
Speaker 3Reno.
Speaker 2Don't fucking fake it.
Speaker 3You have no accent. It doesn't work like that.
Speaker 1This took a weird turn.
Speaker 2I rang you on the telly. I rang you. You didn't answer. I was going to invite you to my flat. We should do some war spirit attacks whatever Some crumpets and tea. It changes which region.
Speaker 3Crikey, it's Australian, I'm going to go. It changes which region like it's crocky it's australian. I'm gonna go see some shrimp down on the bobby.
Speaker 2What the fuck I spent some time in london and turned australian, and a bad one at that, like where was this man?
Speaker 3I think we should do a whole.
Speaker 2So, Matthew Nolan hitman Oppenheimer, there we go.
Speaker 1Was he convicted or is he like? Well, he went to prison.
Speaker 2He escaped his prison in Chicago, apparently, and fled to Costa Rica.
Speaker 1Funded surely, surely, by Christopher Nolan.
Speaker 2Interesting 2005,. That was right after he made Batman Begins Interesting. He used his Batman Begins money.
Speaker 1They filmed that in Chicago.
Speaker 2They did actually.
Speaker 3They did Wait a minute.
Speaker 1They actually did, they totally did.
Speaker 2Christopher Nolan used his Batman Begins money. They actually did. They totally did. Christopher Nolan used his Batman Begins money to get resources to break.
Speaker 3That's why he filmed in Chicago, so he could be close to the source. He's like I need to film a scene in the park.
Speaker 2How long was it before we made our massive revelation? Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1We'll have to see, but Christopher Nolan has a brother. That's quite interesting Very interesting, he thought. Christopher Nolan was interesting.
Speaker 3And Christopher Nolan's other brother was interesting. Just wait until you learn about the third one, Mr Oppenheimer. He's a.
Speaker 1You might want to center the camera too while you're up, kyle.
Speaker 3If you could.
Speaker 1I've been paying attention to it. Yeah, it cut out when you said it was filmed in Chicago. Oh, so we barely lost. We maybe lost 30 seconds, that's fine.
Speaker 3So we're saying it was filmed in Chicago to cover up him breaking his brother out of prison.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3Basically. That's exactly what it is, because they need to film certain Batman scenes in prison, under the prison in a tunnel that Christopher Nolan dug. It was essential to the plot, although it never shows up in the movie.
Speaker 1It was essential. Mission critical, mission critical to the plot. I cannot believe that none of us have even heard a whiff of this.
Speaker 3How did he bury it so well?
Speaker 1maybe the studios are.
Speaker 3Uh, that's crazy maybe the studios are like hiding it, like especially you would think with the oppenheimer movie, like we saw that post, you think that would have exploded. It's like his brother is a hitman named oppenheimer, that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1I mean it's too close for none of us to have ever even heard of it.
Speaker 3It's crazy, damn Revelations happening on the KD ratio.
Speaker 1I'm going to go a lot more Kyle, like a quarter inch. Okay, well, we're good then Boom.
Speaker 3Boom goes, the dynamite Boom goes. Yeah, there you. Boom, boom goes, the dynamite Boom goes.
Speaker 1Yeah, there you go. That's a throwback.
Speaker 3Do it bitch, dance for me, Dance monkey.
Speaker 1Sit on your fucking cheap-ass chair, drink your cola.
Speaker 2Off-brand, terrible chair. 68 cents cola from Walmart.
Speaker 1It's your cola. Great value, cool rc cola. No, no, no, we ain't paying for rc there's too expensive cola.
Speaker 2There was a point in time where you could buy great value cola from Walmart for 68 cents. Was it great value or did it, just say cola.
Speaker 1It was great value, but it said cola it literally was just cola, didn't it have like a blue wrapper?
Speaker 3It was like a teal, almost a light blue.
Speaker 2And it was 68 cents for a two liter.
Speaker 3Good luck Diet cola.
Speaker 2You can't even buy a bottle of Coke for 68 cents.
Speaker 1I'm pretty sure of the 68 cents. 50 cents of that cost was in the plastic bottle.
Speaker 3Probably the water was from the sewers of Chicago. What For the soda?
Speaker 1Oh, God what they carbonated sewage.
Speaker 2Yeah, and put flavor in it. Cola.
Speaker 3Cola, Enough flavoring, you can't taste it right.
Speaker 1From the bums of the Chicago rim.
Speaker 3From the bums of the Chicago rim. Yeah, because of shit the bum.
Speaker 1That's disgusting.
Speaker 3I think we should do a whole episode in accents.
Speaker 2I am the worst at accents. I will undoubtedly offend a lot of people Not on purpose, but my accents are just that bad.
Speaker 1I can't do accents. No At all. No.
Speaker 3Terrible. There was an accent right there.
Speaker 1Tell me what is it.
Speaker 2That was clearly South African.
Speaker 1I had to go into my roots for that one yeah.
Speaker 3German.
Speaker 2Zing, zing. I feel like I could really go down this rabbit hole with.
Speaker 3Matthew.
Speaker 2Nolan.
Speaker 1It's crazy, but it's real, confirmed here on this podcast.
Speaker 2We're there nothing. We are the source of all information.
Speaker 3Let's do some research.
Speaker 2We'll come back to you with the meme from it's Always Sunny when he's got all the strings on the walls and he's looking all crazy, pepe Silva.
Speaker 3I don't know that reference. Well, that's who he's looking for. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2I was thinking of another cartoon character. I was thinking Pepe Mima.
Speaker 1The green fucking frog dude. I was like what the fuck?
Speaker 2That's the wrong meme man, pepe Silva. I was like what the fuck is the? That's the wrong meme man, pepe Silva.
Speaker 1I was like, wait okay, pepe Silva the fighter. I'm like, is Pepe Silva? I was like, is Pepe? I'm like, all right, I'm sure I'll just go with it.
Speaker 3It's a combination of everything you've ever known, wow.
Speaker 1That's deep.
Speaker 2Let's talk about interest rates.
Speaker 3No, I'm just kidding no, I'm just kidding there are higher what um?
Speaker 2so will you be watching fallout?
Speaker 3I, it's on my list. I've heard nothing but good things about it.
Speaker 2I do know I've seen lots of clips, but I haven't watched it I know spoilers, of course, you fucking know I know how it begins. He's the spoiler guy I.
Speaker 1I am no him. Oh, you're 100%. I've never once looked up a spoiler. How?
Speaker 2have I become the spoiler guy? When have I ever looked up a spoiler?
Speaker 1Moving on, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2Name anything that's come out recently.
Speaker 1Spoiler on my truck yeah, you got that nice spoiler on the truck For the wind, got that nice spoiler on the truck For the wind draft.
Speaker 2On the bed.
Speaker 3Aerodynamics.
Speaker 1What was I going to say?
Speaker 3I don't know, was it about Fallout?
Speaker 2No Spoilers.
Speaker 1Oh no.
Speaker 2I feel like you're so dialed in.
Speaker 1I'm the spoiler king Kyle. Yeah, absolutely is no. Oh no, I feel like you're so dialed in. I'm the spoiler king Kyle. Yeah, absolutely is no, I feel like you have. You're tied so much into Reddit and all I feel like you're. I feel like you have joined 50% of all subreddits that exist and so you spend at least six hours a day on Reddit. So if there's ever a side pocket discussion of something, you're going to accidentally hit the scroll on it and be like, oh fuck.
Speaker 3I spoiled it. Yeah, whoops, I'm bad Because it's like I have to follow just subreddit.
Speaker 1He doesn't even fucking want. Oh okay, Just from the game. Just from the game.
Speaker 3They have the flags on it, though so you have to click on it to see what, but the title's like I can't believe they did this with fallout new vegas and I click on it what's this?
'Baldur's Gate and RPG Dialogue Options
Speaker 2that's the monkey brain yeah, I saw this meme where it's just like fallout 3 I have to find my father. Fallout 4 I have to find my son. Fallout new vegas I gotta find that fucker who shot me. It's such a totally wild story compared to the other one. It's Chandler Bing. Yeah, matthew Perry voices the bad guy.
Speaker 3Because he loved Fallout Wow.
Speaker 2He does a terrible job, not gonna lie. It's not good. It's iconic because of Mostly because of memes, but his delivery as Benny is like Mid. It's like not as bad as nba. Oh no we watched.
Speaker 3You gotta go half court and follow the people I don't know what we, we, we gotta go I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2I did try and go back to new vegas not too long ago and I I do feel like this is one of the ones that it was hard to because of just how dated it is I thought you were gonna say it's like it's honestly not my favorite fallout.
Speaker 3No, I, I loved it but it's just.
Speaker 2It's very dated though.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2You have to forgive a lot.
Speaker 3Yeah, you kind of have to get in that mentality of it's going to look like crap. I went back to it probably last time I went back to it was probably two, three years ago and I did a playthrough. I still love that game. I love Obsidian. Yeah, I can't wait for the Avowed right is what it's called.
Speaker 2I'm going to forgive it. It looks not great, I'm not going to lie. But I'm going to forgive it because I love Obsidian. I actually I'm playing through right now on a second playthrough of not second, probably like fourth playthrough of the Outer Worlds. Fourth playthrough yeah, I've beat it like three times.
Speaker 1Is that what you're playing right now?
Speaker 2I am playing outer worlds right now. What?
Speaker 1are you playing although?
Speaker 2I'm about to start over because I accidentally you know how, like that game, there's things that can happen. You get an extra perk but then a permanent debuff. Uh-huh, I accidentally clicked yes on one where it made me like stupid and nice, there's nothing you can do.
Speaker 2You can't raise that once it's there oh no so I like it's ruining the game for me because in outer worlds your character can actually be so dumb that there's dialogue options to be dumb. It literally will be in parentheses. It's a special dialogue option says dumb and so like. Whenever I see that it pisses me off and I'm like I need to never want to have a dumb playthrough.
Speaker 2Some it's, it's fun yeah you know, and that's actually if you speed running the game, that's the quickest way to do it because, there's a point in the game that's like literally like in the middle, where you have to skip, jump this like giant ship to new area. But if you're too stupid to know how it works, you fly it into the sun and the credits roll because you and all your party dies, and so when people speed run the game, they have to be dumb to get that ending.
Speaker 3I am fall in. New vegas was the same way they had that. They had a like your intelligence stat and then, if you were dumb, it would change intelligence checks. The dialogue would be like I think there's one where it's just you aren't even saying words.
Speaker 1You're like duh, duh what? Yes, your character can be that dumb, but you're just still wielding the gun running up and down Nice. He can't even talk.
Speaker 3Can't talk, but he's got a good sense of justice.
Speaker 1Nice, great moral compass.
Speaker 2Great moral compass the stats in every RPG that I always put a bunch into is dialogue, specifically persuade. Because that can really get you through a lot, no matter what the RPG is.
Speaker 3I don't want to talk about it forever because we talked about it already. But I'm playing Baldur's Gate still. I beat it finally, Talk about it.
Speaker 2Well, you're the only person in the world that would respond like that to Baldur's Gate 3.
Speaker 3I am in love with it I want to.
Speaker 1That was the reaction from our fans.
Speaker 2There's no massively multiplayer online elements to Baldur's Gate 3.
Speaker 3There's no min-maxing.
Speaker 2It needs quality. I need a bedroll, please. Thank you very much. I don't want to roleplay. I don't give a fuck about camp.
Speaker 1I don't want to role play. I don't give a fuck about Kemp. I don't want to go to Kemp. Talk to these fucking guys, are you going to?
Speaker 2make me talk to every character. That's so stupid.
Speaker 3Why is everyone trying to fuck me Stop?
Speaker 1I don't care about having sex in this game. I just want to play the gameplay, I just want to kill, I just want combat Do you get stats from fucking chicks.
Speaker 2No, let's get out there. And fucking boom, boom. You kind of sound like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, his brother.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, okay, that's who Kip is. Yeah, you did.
Speaker 2Napoleon, don't be jealous. I've been chatting online with hot babes all day.
Speaker 3Gonna go meet your girlfriend down at the bus's right la fonda.
Speaker 2Who's real, real? They get married at the end yeah, her family's all like disappointed too in the crowd because of his outfit, just who? He is as a person but yeah, bal Baldur's Gate.
Speaker 3I finished my playthrough as a ranger. I'm surprised you made it through. I made it through. Finally, I'm already planning my next playthrough I probably want to do.
Speaker 2I'm surprised you're not burnt out. After I beat it the first time I have to take a break.
Speaker 3I'll probably take a break, but I think I want to do a warlock dirge and I'm trying to figure out how that makes sense. Lore-wise.
Speaker 2Dirge is the best.
Speaker 3Yeah, like maybe you made a deal with a fae Dark dirge.
Speaker 1Yeah, we've abbreviated that, we have their shard Shard for Shadowheart Bazel. Okay, that's ridiculous. Bazel, there's Clack for Carlyle Okay, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2Bazel, there's Clack for Carly.
Speaker 1Gale.
Speaker 3There's G, there's W.
Speaker 1Asterion Asta Asta.
Speaker 3But I have to saysterion side mission. I get. I understand now why he won the game. You know the, the voice actor of the year.
Speaker 2His side mission is especially when he goes into his like dialogues. At the end there he seemed like they.
Speaker 3It seems like they put a ton of effort into that too, like when you compare it to wills. Oh yeah, wills is like nothing. I know wills is just him standing there. Dad, I don't want to disappoint you. It's like shut up, will.
Speaker 2You can't even decide about your own fucking fate boring, boring will, but uh yeah interesting part about will is uh mizora yeah, and you get banger I like when she just chills at your camp and you're like leave, and she's like no, and you're like fuck, you can't even like make her leave, just chill in there and then, um, I really enjoyed.
Speaker 3I didn't. For some reason I didn't pay attention the first time, or maybe had the volume turned down or something. But when you go in the house of hope, the final fight against rafael, the music, the music did you. That's like one of the most memorable parts. I phased over it the first time, I guess. But he just starts singing. The bad guy, he's a demon. He starts singing during his final fight Because he's like that powerful, I guess, so disconnected from it, he's just having fun with it, but you kill him.
Speaker 2Because you're the main character. The main character is always the most OP, that's right. You know the BAFTAs, which is like the British equivalent of the Oscars. They have a video game category, they have a whole video game awards, but it's BAFTAs, and so the guy that voices what's his name. Raphaafael. He won for best supporting character.
Speaker 2Wow um interesting and his speech was actually. When he talks, he sounds just like rafael, like he's not even acting. That's who he is and he goes on. This whole like thing about how, like acting in video games is like giving him the most freedom. He doesn't understand why any actor wouldn't want to do it. It was actually a good speech and they gave him six minutes to talk. They weren't booing him off immediately.
Speaker 3Turning on the music.
Speaker 2But yeah, the BAFTAs have a whole video and I was watching it and it was actually kind of cool. It felt more about the actors than the Game Awards does. Game Awards feels more like an ad. Now it is.
Speaker 3It's like ad space.
Celebrity Chatter About Award Shows
Speaker 1Congratulations Now up next, we have a trailer for the upcoming Move off stage. Announce the trailer. We got Nicolas Cage.
Speaker 2Some random dude. Al Pacino, it's like. What the fuck Like? Just because he's a big name does not mean it's relevant.
Speaker 1I've never played a video game in my life, but let's go ahead.
Speaker 2It's not as bad as Al Pacino at the Oscars.
Speaker 1Oh God, that's what I was thinking of right there too.
Speaker 3And he did the Game Awards too.
Speaker 1I know he did.
Speaker 3Is he like his agents? It's Al.
Speaker 1Pacino and his recognizable things.
Speaker 2And he just had a kid, so he needs some money. Honestly Makes sense. I love that when he's All right and it says Oppenheimer it doesn't even announce the nominees.
Speaker 3And my eyes see.
Speaker 2Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1And they're like oh, okay. Okay, fuck it, We'll go. It was like a little awkward, Like what do you do? Like what the fuck the pinnacle award and you don't even get a nod.
Speaker 2Don't even announce the nominees. Oppenheimer he's literally on stage for like 20 seconds, not even, and he doesn't even like. That's the first thing he says all right, I see up and I feel like one job, and it's not like he hasn't been in the film industry forever like he should know how it works. It shouldn't be that hard. Maybe he had to go to the bathroom really bad.
Speaker 3He was shitting in his diaper.
Speaker 2He just had a kid.
Speaker 3He probably has a diaper, he just had a kid.
Speaker 2He probably it's disgusting. He was like 80 years old.
Speaker 3Valve, did you know in his diaper Billy.
Speaker 1Dude, I just fucking can't man. Hollywood is so gross to me, dude, it's such a bunch of fucking losers, it's like pretty losers.
Speaker 2You know who's the celeb that's got all the tea. That's just been dishing lately. Cat Williams, really I love Cat Williams. She's been dishing lately. Cat Williams, really the comedian. Yeah, I love Cat Williams.
Speaker 1I love his comedy. He has been dishing.
Speaker 2Dishing tea Like out of heat, or yeah and all the shit that he's seen in Hollywood and all this stuff. Yeah, and sometimes he just seems a little crazy, but other times you're like damn, that actually seems like that could have happened.
Speaker 2That's real life and he's been talking about all this like diddy stuff oh, that's been going on and all the stuff that he personally like, saw and was involved in that kind of thing, like, and he's like, did he ask you to party? You say no, like because everyone knew, apparently. Like he was saying everybody knew that was going on and like, uh, anyways, that's who sides the point.
Speaker 3But that's crazy man of course the british would put us to shame with their award shows.
Speaker 2Dude, it's way better it was so. It was about the actors. It was each and like nominee had like a good amount of time. I think, um, what's his name won for best actor, miles Morales, oh really, I think so what's?
Speaker 1his name.
Speaker 2It doesn't even make sense for like Naji. How do you say?
Speaker 3his name Naji.
Speaker 2Peter, something like that. Yeah, it doesn't even make sense.
Speaker 1It doesn't make sense the Game Awards being online like a streaming event. It could be as long as it needs to be. It doesn't need to be like you could give as much credence to the actors and stuff as you wanted it doesn't need to fit within like a cable time it doesn't need to be a live show. Right, it could be pre-recorded and they could break down the segment that's a good point but I do whatever they want.
Speaker 3I think, jeff keely, he wants it to be live because I, I is live, I like it being live, I guess.
Speaker 2But why do they have a time constraint?
Speaker 1If you want to give an extra five minutes to every they're paying for airspace on Twitch.
Speaker 2It's not like our YouTube, or just do?
Speaker 1what the Oscars and all these other awards do is the ones that people care less about. That you just take them out of the show. And then the bigger awards you give more time to.
Speaker 3They kind of did that they definitely did, because they have like speed round, all right we got this they won, they won, they won, they won okay, that felt like disrespectful though see, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2So the oscars.
Speaker 1They. They don't do nods like that, they just have a day before event that you can like. I don't know if you watch it online. It's like they get like all the people that win those categories, they have their own event for that. And then the main one is the you know 10 categories, 15 categories that everybody's like really wanting to see. So you could just narrow it down that way what I'm thinking you need to give a fucking award to every single genre.
Speaker 3What I'm thinking, Jeff Jeff Keighley reach out to us.
Speaker 2We will help Put together the video game sports. Bafta has been doing it for 20 years. Game awards for 20 years, the BAFTA game awards.
Speaker 3Really.
Speaker 2Why have I not heard of this Until this year? 2004 Game wise 2004 Rayman rayman so best animation was hi-fi rush, that's yes best artistic achievement was alan wake 2. Best audio achievement was alan wake 2 nice, nice best game was Baldur's Gate 3.
Speaker 2Of course, british game Viewfinder Debut game, venba, best evolving game, cyberpunk, family game. Super Mario Bros Wonder Game. Beyond entertainment Chia Never heard that one. This is content Game design Dave the Diver, dave the Diver man Multiplayer. Super Mario Bros Wonder Music. Baldur. Super Mario Bros Wonder music. Baldur's Gate narrative. Baldur's Gate, new IP viewfinder. So they only have two like actor awards best performer in a leading role and best performer in a supporting role who won the leading role?
Speaker 2the Miles Morales oh, okay and then best performer in a supporting role was Andrew Wincott, who voices Raphael.
Speaker 3Raphael Wow.
Speaker 2Technical achievement was Legend of Zelda oh and player's choice, Baldur's Gate 3. Easy, we got to check out the BAFTAs next year. Yeah, if you remember this.
Speaker 3When did they happen? Is it around the same time, like a couple weeks ago? Bless you, they happen is around the same time. Like a couple weeks ago, bless you.
Speaker 1I'm not on the British radar.
Speaker 2Me neither. There should be after your British accent that you were doing earlier.
Speaker 1There's so much shit out there, dude, it's like how tied in are we to this, like the game, stuff and a whole event, just you don't even hear about it.
Speaker 3We're in America.
Speaker 2Clearly we're better than everyone.
Speaker 3We said British people go away, we don't want you.
Speaker 2You know, back in 1812, when they came back to try and take us down, they burned the White House down. I've never forgiven them for this.
Speaker 3I love how you said that mid-laugh Burned the White House down. I've never forgiven them for this. I love how you said that mid-laugh Burn the White House down. Speaking of the White House, I saw Apple TV. There's a series called Franklin. It's about Ben Franklin. It's got Michael Douglas as Ben Franklin.
Speaker 1No shit, Do you know about Ben Franklin? Ben Franklin is one of the craziest yeah.
Speaker 3I'm like I'm pretty sure most of it's going to be untrue and make him look like I don't know. I imagine those shows usually make them look better than they are.
Speaker 2Well, not lately. I would say that the shows have been pretty honest, so it might be. But I also feel like Better than they are. It is important to look at people through the context of the time they're in. 100%, otherwise, you know there's a lot of people that contributed many great things to society that you'll find, no matter who it is. They weren't great people most of the time, and sometimes they were. I'm not overly interested in vilifying people from a couple hundred years ago.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Was Ben Franklin a bad dude? He wasn't like a great guy.
Speaker 3Really, I was just saying you know how?
Speaker 2Morally, I don't think he was downright.
Speaker 3He did a lot of great things, but I think those shows a lot of time turn into almost like an idolization of what we think he was versus. He might have been a little bit of a shyster, you know he might have been a little shady of a shyster. You know, he might have been a little shady, little shyster because he got stuff done.
Speaker 3But he might have been he might have black, you know, he might have been getting stuff done on the wrong side. I know he had like I think I think he had probably drug addiction to something it's syphilis.
Speaker 2Really bad from all his had a major sex addiction.
Speaker 1This is one of my favorite things about him. He was into older women. He himself was old as dirt. There's letters from him that he would write to chicks older than him. It was so wild, it was so raunchy. The guy was crazy, crazy, awesome. In my opinion, he did what he needed to do. I was reading something recently about him that like they sent over uh some money to help him like get a deal done with I think it was like france or something like that. Yeah, and all of a sudden, like a like five hundred thousand dollars extra was missing and it was like uh, don't, uh, don't worry about it's, like that's the price to for admission or whatever, and it's basically just blown on uh, hookers and fucking drugs he's very outside of everything done basically he's very outside of the box thinker though too, and, like some of the like his inventions he came up with were really interesting, the things that he thought about.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean like bifocals.
Speaker 3National treasure yeah.
Exploring Historical Figures and Ideals
Speaker 2He was also one of the founding fathers that was actively against slavery, didn't have slaves, at least when he was an adult. He had slaves when he was a child, but as he actively against slavery, didn't have slaves, at least when he's an adult, he had slaves and he's a child, but as he grew up, he, he did not have slaves, him and john quincy adams, uh, which for the time that was very radical to be against that. I'm sure there was lots of people that were, but like it just wasn't, you know yeah wasn't a thing.
Speaker 2So, like there are lots of things I think and it's important to when you're looking at history, it's important to understand and say, okay, yeah, there's this part of this person that would not be acceptable, okay, or even morally right if it existed now, but also understand the context of what they did do for society and what.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, I think it's a waste of time to to even like focus on that stuff. If they're a good guy, you know, like honestly, I think when you look at history or you, you see somebody like a, a figure like that that I mean one of the founding fathers did so much in his lifetime like really fucking crazy what he sort of accomplished and was involved in um. To sort of accomplished and was involved in um to like I like, if you're, if you're doing like a thorough breakdown of like that dude's whole life, then maybe sure you should showcase a lot of stuff. But I don't have a problem with like an idealization of what that person ever might be or might what he was, because at the end they were everybody's just people. Of course he had fallible traits or things that not really redeem equalities. Okay, he was a womanizer and stuff like that. Who the fuck wasn't. If they had power back then there was nothing else to do but fuck or now.
Speaker 1Yeah, there was nothing else to do but fuck. Come on man, Seriously.
Speaker 2An apple a day keeps a doctor away. Yeah. That was his saying a penny saved is a penny earned. See, there you go, give a man a fish, feed him for a day. That was his, that was his teach a man to fish.
Speaker 1Feed him for a lifetime. There you go, let me double, let me fact check myself before I know they're completely somebody I don't have like I don't have a you know I, I don't really mind if, if, if it is like an idea, is the idealization, like caricature of what the the person might be, because at this point it's been hundreds of years well, you kind of just need to look at them and just like, hey, that's something to aspire to. Why knock it down, unless it's for like a, a fucking research paper?
Speaker 3well, I wouldn't say I don't. I'm not saying they add it to knock him down. I would just be interested to learn who he really was like.
Speaker 1When I watch a show like that I would rather see what actually happened than like marvel is it a drama tv series or is it like a biography? I?
Speaker 3think it's like a drama tv series. Okay, so I would rather I I understand they're going to bend the truth a little bit because it's, you know, drama but I would rather learn something cool about ben franklin or something interesting that I never knew from watching it, rather than just he was captain america, you know, and I I guess I mean there's nothing wrong with that, but I just I think we've had a lot of those shows, and I personally like the shows where they add a little bit of that realism in of like, so this is who he actually was so I was way off on the fish quote I was like dude.
Speaker 2I feel like that is he had a version of that that he said, but the quote itself comes from lao su uh, founder of taoism, very close to Ben Franklin. But even that isn't known 100%. That's just because it's such a broad quote that that's who they think is most attributed to what year was he, that guy around?
Speaker 1Oh God, lao Tzu.
Speaker 2He was around 571 BC.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2That was close 571 BC. Yeah, that was close, 571 BC. That's crazy. How old were you guys in that 571 BC?
Speaker 1Well, let's see Give or take a few millennia 20 fun facts about Benjamin Franklin.
Speaker 3He had two years of formal education. He spent half his life in unofficial retirement. That must be nice.
Speaker 1People back then impressed the fuck out of me. You learn about these dudes, and most of them didn't come from formula. Some were rich, some were poor, some were didn't have any formal education, some were just leaders thrown into war.
Speaker 2Especially the new world. They didn't have chat GBT to help them. They didn't have any formal education.
Speaker 1Some were just like leaders, thrown into war, especially the new world. And then you see, they didn't have chat, gbt to help them, right, they didn't have a word processor. But then you see, like the eloquence in which they spoke, I wonder what day-to-day conversation sounded like back then, like was it as natural a language as this. Or did people speak in that manner? It's kind of wild.
Speaker 2Oh, this is a quote from I didn't know this was ben franklin. This is a good one. There was never a good war or a bad peace there. You go wow deep I've definitely heard that uh don't throw stones at your neighbor if your own windows are glass.
Speaker 3Makes sense, isn't that like, don't throw stones in a glass? Isn't there one about glass house?
Speaker 2Yeah, I think some of these are like appropriated quotes I feel like he took them from Lost. Time is never found again. What's more valuable than gold diamonds than diamonds virtue starting to get less good as I go down most of the stuff we're seeing is um, is that he was a ladies man?
Speaker 3oh, dude, 100, yeah, but like I mean it's so okay, I had to double check myself. An apple a day keeps the doctor ray was ben franklin, though, okay um, like it's so fascinating to me learning about like 1776 and the revolutionary time in revolutionary america, because I feel like as a kid I might have learned that or might have come like the teachers might have been teaching it, but I did not retain most of it because that's the stuff they teach you when you're so young.
Speaker 3Yeah, and so, like you know, I watched Hamilton, and watching Hamilton, yeah, it's a musical, but you learn some cool stuff that's actually real and it's like oh shoot, I didn't know that happened, like what.
Speaker 2You know what you know. There's this podcast katie ratio that talks about. It's called the katie ratio. No, there's this podcast called history that doesn't suck um, and I listened to this guy has. He has a whole portion on um. The whole podcast itself is from the american perspective, uh, but uh, he has a whole portion on the revolutionary war War, and it starts way back of when George Washington was really young and George Washington himself is an extremely fascinating character.
Speaker 1Yeah, he's one of the major reasons as to why it all worked.
Speaker 2So, to start things off, when he was still part of the British military, he had his own chip on his shoulder because he was like 21 years old and something like four people died in his command and all of a sudden he was in charge of this group of a bunch of people and he was fighting. I think this might have been the French and Indian War Probably butchering history right now, but I think it was the French and Indian War Probably butchering history right now. But I think it was the French and Indian War. And he got cornered into a bunker and he's like a kid basically, and he's commanding all these people and then he goes out for negotiations and then they do the whole negotiations.
Speaker 2He couldn't read the contract and so he signed it and from that point on, british people were like shitting on him and was like he lost this battle, blah, blah, blah. And he didn't really lose it. He like fought tooth and nail for like weeks and in the rain, and like it was miserable. And then that was like the very beginning of like fuck the british, why like? Why did I just go through all of this? And then for me to make me out the way that and like and he stood like six feet tall at a time and like the average height was like five, five and so like he just looked like a mountain of a man and like he was just like a very stereotypical, like rugged american. He's like the first american like it and the guy that does the podcast does a much better like he's much better storytelling. It makes it very interesting. So if you're interested in that kind of stuff, it's yeah, it's called a history that doesn't suck do you have a favorite fact about george washington billy?
Speaker 3because I do a favorite fact?
Speaker 1yeah, um, the fact that he didn't want to be president. That was going to be mine he had the forethought of, like he had no interest in being the president.
Speaker 3They made him and didn't he say like I don't want them to.
Speaker 2They wanted him to be a king, actually Literally, and then he stopped it Literally.
Speaker 1That's why I was saying he's such a key piece in it, because he could have just consolidated the of the power and literally had another monarchy. Yeah, but he he's the reason why we had eight years, because after eight years he's like I fucked this and just gave it up, like that was not. Like I don't think the eight years two term thing that came into play because that's fdr had 16 or I think he was elected four times but then there was this.
Speaker 2Well, there was a. It was because of there was um during wartime, there was a special thing, when you could be. Elected more than twice.
Exploring Ancient and Modern History
Speaker 1And we totally canned all of that and you know like A lot of that shit came from him. That structure and stability, it's kind of wild. I don't like necessarily going all the way back To the revolutionary days, because it's I like more like recent history.
Speaker 1I I guess like like post-world war ii to me is like the most fascinating because I think I'll call that like modern history yeah, because to me, like with the revolutionary war, like I feel like that kind of stuff happened all the time, like there was revolutionaries all the time. At that point, the 1700s, basically Britain ruled the fucking world because they had all the Conquered everything.
Speaker 2They were the only one with the navy. I like the saying the sun never sets on England, because at one point that's how broad their empire was.
Speaker 1All of India was British territory essentially. It's crazy.
Speaker 2All those islands. What was it called the Silk.
Speaker 3Road.
Speaker 2Yeah, did they have control of all that too? I think.
Speaker 1It's like the East Indian Trading Company was like their CIA kind of like Secret government corporation, super secret or whatever. That whole thing is kind of fascinating.
Speaker 2And then Pirates of the Caribbean turned that into the whole thing.
Speaker 1Yeah, that happened, actually there was Davy Jones. Yeah, absolutely I think actually he might be a real person, but a squid face, no, I think Davy Jones actually is a real pirate.
Speaker 2Yeah, davy Jones is the lead singer of the Monkees. Yeah, ah yes, the dude's name is David Jones. There you go, so it is at least a real person.
Speaker 1I like more modern history because to me post-World War II is the most fascinating era for all of humanity because it's been historically by far the most peaceful era that humans have ever seen, since we've been able to sort of travel and move and do anything, um, or communicate like that. It's just kind of crazy how peaceful it's been. And and seeing like a lot of seeing how that sort of came to, came to be and um, essentially with the, the nuclear bomb, it's kind of kind of wild. I mean literally, literally the us could have taken over the entire world. That post world war ii, like everybody was prettys could have taken over the entire world at post-world war ii, like everybody was pretty much beat up, pretty bad after the two wars and we were the only ones with nuclear power. Like we could have clipped the nuts of every other country and literally the stuff that happened, like in japan.
Speaker 1Japan is one of the most interesting examples of that where you see, for like the first time ever, instead of basically throwing our influence down their throat and enforcing like our culture and not so much our culture but like, uh, heavily police, trying, yeah, yeah, right, like we rebuilt japan, like we helped them rebuild, and it went through like this crazy like it was. It was like the most successful model that's ever happened. Like japan is like a thriving culture that has its own identity. Like it was amazing. We didn't, we didn't take it over, we didn't, we didn't claim it as a turtle.
Speaker 1Like we helped to rebuild them and it wasn't without its pain points if you get into the the history, it's actually kind of crazy what happened during that era. That's the thing about knowing too much. You can sit there and go well this, if you take the 50,000 foot approach and just sort of look at it at a big picture, it's like that's a wildly successful model that worked out. We did that across the US because we were so afraid World War II happened because of what happened with World War I. World War I we gave a bill to Germany and completely fucked their civilization. Well, guess what, when you piss off 100 million people, hitler happens right. So let's maybe not do that with Japan, right? So like same kind of thing, like we learned from those mistakes. And it was like the first time that we had a civilization, a global civilization, that could then make like really, I guess, decent, non-militaristic decisions to like rebuild cultures and communities.
Speaker 1And yeah, and it's been a fucking wildly successful model since then I think the most interesting history, um is not.
Speaker 2I mean, american history is so short in the grand scheme of things, like yeah, so there's some interesting points, but the most interesting history is long ancient history.
Speaker 3For me, Medieval, or what are you talking? Probably even pre-medieval, prehistoric.
Speaker 2No, not prehistoric Medieval is not that old in comparison.
Speaker 1Dinosaurs, human history, human history Okay.
Speaker 2Prehistoric Pangea.
Speaker 1Ever heard of it. You ever heard of it. I've been there.
Speaker 3We said the same thing. What Ever heard of it?
Speaker 2Yeah, is that from something.
Speaker 1No we just.
Speaker 2Pangea.
Speaker 1Our cycles are synced.
Speaker 2I figured yeah, you both seem a little moody tonight. Yeah, I'm sorry to say you're doing it so wild.
Speaker 3So, but like what, what era, what era?
Speaker 2Egyptian I would say like ancient Rome. Ancient Rome, it's very interesting, but like ancient Egypt is so long ago. Yeah, their empire started something like 4,000 BC, which is like so I think we talked about this on the podcast before but like the construction of the pyramids.
Speaker 1Oh, I love this fact.
Speaker 2Was further away from Cleopatra than Cleopatra is away from us, because that's how old their history is, which is insane. But one of the I don't what the exact uh time frame this is, I want to say it's around. Look up hannibal barca. This guy was super interesting. Hannibal, hannibal barca, what which is? Played by denzel washington his full name is barca hannibal barca in the punic wars, but carthaginian okay, yes, this was bc, so 247 bc I was I was gonna say like, uh, like around, like zero, but 247 bc, this guy would make a perfect movie.
Speaker 2Maybe it looks like it might have already made a movie with.
Speaker 2No, they're making one with denzel so this guy, he took a whole army of soldiers and they were going into um, italy, and it was like impossible during the carth, like the punic wars, for carthage, to um get into europe that way, like they kept losing and losing. So he got a bunch of war elephants and took these war elephants over the swiss alps and then attacked, like italy, from the north. Can you imagine just a bunch of people riding elephants over the swiss, over the swiss alps, into your homeland?
Speaker 3That's fucking dedication.
Speaker 2Like it was wild and he won the I think it was the second Punic War and there was multiple and then people of Carthage ended up, I think, losing again after that. But that guy has an incredibly interesting story for a general of those times, and so that's the kind of stuff. The reason I think that, like ancient history, is interesting is because it's so long ago that it almost feels like akin to like a fantasy novel some of the stuff that you read that these people have done, which is you know?
Speaker 1that's always cool for me dude like europe has just never stopped being at war. There's always somebody like capturing and taking some shit.
Speaker 2Yeah so if you look at it so, carthage, it was like right here, like modern day north africa, and he took his war elephants up above through what's now like spain, went through the alps and then attacked italy from above that way with war elephants. It's crazy which is insane.
Speaker 3So denzel washington's gonna play animal bark, that's what it said on that post right there interesting.
Speaker 2Denzel washington can play whoever he wants.
Speaker 3That guy's an amazing great, I mean I would watch it, him as an old roman empire or a roman war general. My favorite time period interesting.
Speaker 2So kyle's is way, way long ago I wouldn't say it's my favorite time period most interesting but like it's maybe the most interesting, I guess I also like reading about the renaissance as well, okay which is like a good 1500 years after this but so hold on.
Speaker 1So carthage was in, basically like modern day, like algeria algeria, tunisia or whatever yeah, tunisia, I don't know how you pronounce, and they were at war, and then they went through spain and then came came down through the top of italy um with their war elephants fucking.
Speaker 2So they they took their war elephants. That's fucking crazy. So they took their war elephants.
Speaker 1They got them across where Morocco is.
War, History, & Human Perspectives
Speaker 2That little tiny when Morocco almost touches Spain. That's where they took their elephants across, and then they took them all the way. They took African elephants and brought them into. How did he pitch this?
Speaker 1Imagine being a person never seeing an elephant, just like they're riding it.
Speaker 2Like what is this beast? It's a demon that is like and that works.
Speaker 1That's like modern day tank. They just it's like a biological tank. That's crazy. Wow, what were you saying, Dylan?
Speaker 3Sorry, I was trying to think my my most interested time period. I would say I'm always interested to learn about, like um, ancient greece. I I'm really fascinated ancient greece and kind of I'm more, more my fascination came in with, like their mythologies. Um, that's how I got hooked as a kid, but learning about the real history of it and Athens and 300 was cool.
Speaker 2Man, those guys were free spirits.
Speaker 3I know Athens was they were just like. Whatever happens happens Group sex all the time.
Speaker 2They have orgies man, woman they don't care, they're just trying to.
Speaker 3They're just living.
Speaker 2Just living the dream. Probably all had STDs.
Speaker 3Probably. I would say that might be the one I'm most interested in, although I do. I really love going to like. Out of all the museums, I like World War II museums most, probably more than like Civil War or Revolutionary.
Speaker 2War Because maybe I don't know in a weird way it still feels more relatable. Because maybe, I don't know, in a weird way it still feels more relatable, like I don't know. It's much easier to picture yourself in that time frame than it is in ancient yeah.
Speaker 3And I'm mostly fascinated seeing like the old technology and seeing like that was a precursor to this and just like it blows my mind some of the stuff that they how unsafe it was but they just did it, you know, because they just had to do it for war, like some of those howitzers.
Speaker 2Those are crazy they're big German technology was on another level. World War II.
Speaker 3It's crazy. Could you imagine your hearing Dude? They didn't care about that. You, you imagine you're hearing dude because you didn't have hearing.
Speaker 2No, you didn't, you didn't, they didn't even have like earplugs your life expectancy was so low that that was never even a consideration.
Speaker 1There was so much other shit like to worry about it's like that was never even a thought yeah like oh, cover, plug your ears.
Speaker 2Oh, you're a little bitch don't even need to do that. You can't handle it once it goes off a few times the ring stops, it goes away. Don't worry, you'll get shell shock dude world war one was brutal, like it was another level, like might be the atrocities that were committed in world war ii were higher, like as what the Nazis did, but as far as actual battle tactics, world War I was ruthless.
Speaker 1Geneva Convention was invented, I think, the atrocities might have even been worse. Chemical warfare yeah, mustard gas I'm talking about.
Speaker 2on civilians versus as far as rounding up an entire race and killing them. But the war tactics specifically.
Speaker 3Mustard gas.
Speaker 2Without regard for bystanders or anything.
Speaker 1The whole trench warfare stuff.
Speaker 2That's where the term trench foot came from because their feet would be wet for months at a time and then they just never recover. Your foot's gone and trench foot is so painful that it felt like you're. We're constantly walking on knives. Like it's insane. Like and mustard gas, like you said, dylan, like some of the like, just the idea of fighting in a gas mask is so like grotesque, because otherwise you can't breathe yeah, well, and you were just expected to, they would just send you out there.
Speaker 1Yeah, Dude, how about the Russian model? They'd send you out there. Grab the gun off the guy that died before you, and hopefully he's got a bullet left in you.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1There was an entire battle, I don't even remember which one it was. They would send you with one bullet because that's all you needed, because you're probably going to die by the end of the point, and that's how, like, basically, if you look at the history of Russia and like how they've won wars is just having more population than anybody else, and that's a huge advantage, and they just fucking flood you with bodies.
Speaker 1It's kind of crazy, but the idea that you would just like charge in about and the idea that you would just charge in about and if you did it they would just kill you there, which that happened all the time. So you just charge in, grab the fucking gun that's falling off and see how far you can go. That was what they did. Could you guys imagine? There's no fucking way. What a life.
Speaker 3Reaching the political power that you don't start to see other humans as individual souls resources but you see them as a resource. So it's like what we have 500 soldiers, okay, send them to the front line. I you know what's funny they're expendable.
Speaker 1I think that only could happen in that era.
Speaker 2I don't I don't know let me.
Speaker 1I don't know if even like the most hardened dudes ever, I'm sure there's a couple psychopaths but to have something like that work you need a system of things right. I don't know if that and this is probably naive, but I don't know if that could work in today's era because of things like video recording.
Speaker 2I guess certainly not in the way that superpowers did it before.
Speaker 1Right, yeah, like if, if you did that like somewhere in the chain, somebody would see it, the soldiers would see it and like revolt earlier on it. Like I don't think it could get to that that level ever again, because that kind of desensitization to like human life can only happen from like a war room where they're like literally a pawn on a table. All right, we're gonna move them to that.
Speaker 1How many? 200, 000 good, send them in. We got plenty of resources there. We can't feed them this winter, so we let's just fucking have them die, so you know, then our numbers will be down. Then we can feed though the ones that survive. Like we expect a 70 percent casualty rate, like I think it can only be done when you're just staring at a piece of paper and making a decision. If you saw any of the atrocities or the horrible shit, I don't know how that chain of hierarchy could exist with that level of treachery.
Speaker 3Yeah, like, imagine being in the medieval times. You know, like, and you had a castle and you just, or you were looking at your game plan map with your chess pieces and you're like, like you said there's oh there's 500 people here. They're expendable, we can put them to die against these people, while we take this front over here. It's crazy.
Speaker 1Yeah, we're going to send these guys in. They're going to be really the diversion we're going to take this.
Speaker 2That was a huge problem with the French Revolution, with how disconnected royalty was from the common folk. They kind of made a joke out of it now. But the queen, that famous quote where they're like they're starving today. She's like, well, let them eat cake, because she had no idea really what, like what, was going on before all the nobles was getting their heads chopped off like we need another one.
Speaker 2There's that quote from mash that I always think of, from hawkeye um, not marvel's Hawkeye, but Hawkeye from MASH when he says I'm sure you've heard it before, where he says I'm condensing it but he says war is war and hell is hell, and of the two war is worse. Why is war worse than hell? Because there's no innocent bystanders in hell.
Speaker 3That's a good one.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean back. I mean, if you think about the times too, what were the really like the two professions? Like you'd farm and build, like generate resources for your homeland, or you would go to like war and you'd be like a soldier and stuff like that. And obviously there's like leather working and and Taylor, yeah, exactly, there's kind of there. And taylor, yeah, exactly, there's kind of there's things, that kind of stuff, but like nowhere near the services. So you like that was the choice that you had. So if you weren't necessarily at war, I'm not sure how you like you, you command, like people would probably get bored.
Speaker 1I I don't know like yeah, like that was just what you did, was you just your goal was to, that was the culture? Right, like we need more land. Let's go conquer it defending against raiders and there was no like uh peace time. It was like you were always taking something from somebody. You know it was just warring factions what, uh?
Speaker 3what profession do you think you guys would have had in medieval times?
Speaker 1I don't have been a fucking jester core jester.
Speaker 2I bet you that was probably a highly coveted position, probably and I could entertain her live in the castle billy would be the bar comedian or something.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, you're just there for entertainment exactly yeah, they probably live pretty. It's all things considered pretty cush lives, oh yeah but if you wouldn't be like, you wouldn't necessarily be on the list to to be slain if someone took over because everybody wants to be entertained, yeah kill the jester what do you mean?
Speaker 3you just had to prove your worth to the next exactly. You gotta be funny or not?
Speaker 1oh, I don't speak your language. Kill him sorry, see ya physical comedy, yeah people have always valued when resources are that small, like are that tight and you can't generate. You know, like they might have seen it as such, like a black and white thing, because sorrow and heartbreak was so common back then, like they would just think way more logically. So it was like, if we keep him alive, that's a mouth to feed, yeah, right, so like kill him, that's not a mouth to feed, like yeah right, so like kill him.
Speaker 1That's not a mouth to feed like they. Almost probably there was like a culture of like empathy, like I'll kill him, but humanely, and you know he won't starve to death. Yeah, like imagine being that. Like you know that you cannot generate enough resources to feed everybody, like because on your war over there you fucking did uh scorched earth plan tactics and you fucking lit every field on fire so you can you know you can't feed the kingdom. Yeah, so you're like doing them a mercy by killing them. Like I bet you that these were like they probably saw themselves as merciful, which is why you see some of the craziest egos when you look into the dictators yeah from that era because it was like they made those decisions.
Speaker 1You're like, well, you killed a million people. That's mercy. I couldn't feed them. Yeah, you know, it's like, and it's just that. And it's like, well, they'd rather starve to death. And then starving people make bad decisions like they. They'll steal from you, they'll fucking kill, like you don't want that. So you know the implications of what that means. If, like, people are starving, they're going to go crazy and cause havoc. So you kill them. It's like a mercy thing.
Speaker 3A lot of misery.
Speaker 1I guarantee you that that's how they logic through that problem. It was just black and white.
Speaker 3It was not even a it probably wasn't even a political thing at that level. That's how you had to think in order to survive. If you were too empathetic, you'd die.
Speaker 2I don't know what I would. I'm thinking about it's so like you'd have to be a product of what profession? Half the time.
Speaker 1It's just like what you were born into I was gonna say, like you don't choose, I'm born into nobility.
Speaker 2Like no, I mean the reason we're all here some point yeah, in our ancestry there was some reason that we didn't die out. It is because we were ancient times somebody in our ancestry was some big shit.
Speaker 1Someone found success in the crazy, fucked up world.
Speaker 2But the most common jobs, the five most common jobs of the medieval time was farming, carpentry, butchery, shoemaking and then church-related work, Church-related work, interesting Church-related work.
Speaker 1Let me ask you this Do you think the battles back then were as epic as we've seen on TV? You know what I really think? It is One or two guys that were just fucking methed out of their head and really kind of being true warriors.
Speaker 2There's no way to actually make meth in the medieval times, but somehow.
Speaker 1They found some way. They would just drink their asses off.
Speaker 2Walter.
Speaker 3Maitre time traveled.
Ancient Battle Numbers and Tactics
Speaker 1And just fucking go crazy. I don't think it was as epic as we think it is, or they were as trained as we might think it is, and no, they certainly didn't have armor. So the idea that a whole army would be full of plate mail, that's not really.
Speaker 3I bet there was probably. Yeah, I bet it was mostly militia.
Speaker 2Foot soldiers were A lot of wars, a lot of them were mercenaries. A lot of them were hired.
Speaker 1Right. So when you think of a battle back then like a battle over Rome, I bet if you looked at the numbers it was like 500 killed or something.
Speaker 2It was just like a transfer of power, because yeah, 500 killed, yeah, but the difference is is they met on a battlefield. There was no guerrilla warfare in those days. It was literally me formal and we'll do it like men attack. It wasn't into. I mean, guerrilla warfare was really kind of a in the last, like I would say like 300 years started slowly becoming a thing wasn't it a lot of it had to do honestly in the american revolution yeah uh americans, the white people being trained by native americans.
Speaker 2They taught them warfare like why are you fighting this way?
Speaker 3just take them out when they walk by, like what are you doing? You know, stupid, that's pretty dumb. Just let them shoot you. Yeah, why not? So just look. I just looked up like famous.
Speaker 1No, I just did. Oh my god 70 000 people there goes your theory.
Speaker 2Yeah, it goes well. This is like the most.
Speaker 1I clicked on the first one, the most famous battle. So Romans, 70,000 people I don't know what this is Roman and Aladin.
Speaker 2This is the Battle of Cannae.
Speaker 1I don't know how you pronounce that 216 BC. This is the Second Punic War.
Speaker 2Dude, the Second Punic War was when shit happened. Man, this is the same war with Hannibal Barca.
Speaker 1So maybe we do.
Speaker 270,000 people died in there. Can you imagine a field?
Speaker 3battle. I doubt it was a field battle. That's 70,000. Across the whole, yeah, but still That'd be cool to see. Maybe not 16,000, 20,000. So it goes a little bit higher than 500.
Speaker 1So for the Okay. So this is the Battle of Tottenberg Forest.
Speaker 2The casualties were light.
Speaker 1Romans. However, only a few escaped the massacre. Oh because. So they were like rounded up and then fucking executed. Well, I do. Do you imagine executing an entire city, do we?
Speaker 3know that the romans fought the same way like the revolutionary war were. Are you sure it wasn't just they charged at each other? Like I don't think it was honorable back then, like it was during the, you know, the american revolution. I don't know, I think it was more we throw.
Speaker 2We just keep throwing bodies dylan, the battle of um kenny. Uh-huh, that was one day. That was one day. It was holy 80, 80 000 people, excuse me, 86,000 people versus 50,000 people Holy. And that was led. The Hannibal Barca was the one that led the smaller amount of people, 50,000 versus 86,000.
Speaker 1And 70,000 died.
Speaker 3I can't even comprehend what that would look like.
Speaker 2It was one of the most lethal single days of fighting in history of all time.
Speaker 1Well, that's why it's so famous. Also, do we think that maybe they exaggerated? I?
Speaker 3don't know For historical purposes.
Speaker 1Somebody's writing it down, just imagine P's writing it down, just imagine a fucking football stadium of people with swords going up against another football stadium of people.
Speaker 3And I mean there's that quote of the history is written by the winners.
Speaker 1Yeah, so it's like you, you would scale up the battle proportions, you know, and that epic.
Speaker 2The battle of cannae wasn't even the battle that he brought the elephants, and that was a whole, not a separate battle they probably died off and they're like all right now what we're here, so let's fuck shit up the punic wars is nuts man, and the fact that hannibal barker Barca led a command of 50,000 people and still won against 86,000, those are some badasses.
Speaker 3Yeah, so I am questioning, though I don't think they had. I think.
Speaker 1How do you have the resources to feed and house and set up and plan 80,000 people? It's not like it's outside of a city.
Speaker 2I think you're underestimating the human will.
Speaker 3Well, I think a lot of it was raping and pillaging.
Speaker 1Yeah, so they would just like. I guess they would just join, like walk into your house and be like hey, I'm having dinner here tonight Definitely 100%.
Speaker 3Like, oh God, my farm's right in the middle of the battlefield.
Speaker 2This is the type of thing that is interesting. If you go to college to study history is because they would write a report on how do you think that this was done, and then there'd be whole theories that make sense and breakdowns of at what point they hit this town, this, this town and this town and completely devastated them on their way. You know that kind of thing and look at this.
Speaker 1They got like look at the armies, here we go. Okay, they should be treated with. Figures for troops involved in ancient battles are often unreliable, and can I? I've always heard as can I uh is no exception. They should be treated with caution, especially those for the carthaginian side. The carthaginian army was a combination of warriors from numerous regions and may have numbered between 40 000 and 50 000,000.
Speaker 3That's still a lot.
Speaker 1The infantry comprised an estimated 8,000 Libyans, 5,500 Gautilians I don't even know what that is 16,000 Gauls these sound like aliens in Star.
Speaker 2Trek.
Speaker 1Mainly Boyle and Insurbs. 8,000 were left at camp that day of battle. Oh my gosh. At camp that day a battle. And 8,000 several tribes of Hispania, including Iberians, celtiberians and Lusitanians. Hannibal's cavalry also came from diverse backgrounds. He commanded 4,000 Numenoreans.
Speaker 3Just kidding.
Speaker 1Numidians, 2,000 Iberians, 4,000, gaelics, 450, libyan, phoenician, calvaries and Hannibal had an auxiliary skirmisher contingent consisting of 1,000 to 2,000 Balearic slingers Like slingshot, we're going to fucking war with slingshots.
Speaker 3They probably had the ball and the rock you couldn't do this today.
Speaker 1There'd be people like I'm just going to play it on my phone. You absolutely could not do that and 6,000 mixed nationality javelinemen.
Speaker 2And that's all that remains to commemorate this battle. That one pillar, that's what 70,000 people died for there's no way.
Speaker 3Nice.
Speaker 1There it is. We got a screenshot of this this is like from the Wikipedia article. This is the one artifact that they commemorate. It's on the page. This battle there it is.
Speaker 3That really sells it.
Speaker 2I can just feel the souls of 70,000 dead soldiers.
Speaker 3Look at that landscape though.
Speaker 2I could see 70,000 people fighting or over 100,000 people fighting in that landscape. I love how they were like the numbers are exaggerated. It was actually only 40,000 to 50,000. 40,000 to 50,000.
Speaker 1It's like they're trying to nail it. You know exactly Lightly equipped. Yeah, see, there's the sling.
Speaker 3He has the rock with the rope around it.
Speaker 2Look at that.
Speaker 1Imagine running into a battle with that many people and you die to a fucking rock hitting you in the face, I mean those rocks were no joke.
Speaker 3That would rip your face off. They broke the sound barrier.
Speaker 2Yeah, those things, that blows my mind Really sling. They're slinging rock man.
Speaker 3Those Balearic slingers, rock slingers, slingers, gonna go slang some rock, you know. Oh, they got the whole Deployment plan here we're looking at I just have a hard time believing.
Speaker 1I'll share the screen again. I just have a hard time believing. This is like 80,000 people Just did. That's just insane to me. The scale of that is crazy.
Speaker 3Well, it's over a hundred thousand fifty thousand to and then on one side, I mean eighty something thousand.
Speaker 2That's the reason the romans had more is because they were the defenders. They weren't the invaders in this instance. So I had, uh, I bet you, a good thirty thousand, if not more. People on the Roman side didn't even want to fucking be there. They were probably just trying to survive Like these people are coming after us.
Speaker 3Well, it sounds like they took a bunch of different, like nationalities and different groups of people. So they, that was a united front.
Speaker 1Yeah, there was a war campaign like when was this even at hey?
Speaker 2all you people.
Speaker 1In Italy.
Speaker 2The first battle Was up here. This is where they lost all their elephants that they brought, and then they just kept going.
Speaker 1So they were defending. I guess Rome is. Where's Rome at Down here right?
Speaker 2Yeah, but Rome wasn't Rome.
Speaker 1Not at this point.
Speaker 3No Rome's to the left.
Speaker 1Oh shit, so they had already made it past Rome. Yeah, so Cannae was.
Speaker 2I don't I could be completely wrong, but I don't think this was the all roads lead to Rome level yet.
Speaker 1Of Rome. Yeah, it wasn't like Roman Empire. When did Rome become Rome?
Speaker 2When did Rome become Rome. They were still the Roman Empire, okay.
Speaker 1They were around, for sure.
Speaker 2When were they at their peak?
Speaker 1It was a Roman Republic at that time. It wasn't the. It was a Roman Republic at that time. It wasn't the Roman Empire. The Roman Empire came after this.
Speaker 2The Roman Empire. Right, it wasn't until like AD times. Yeah, so that makes more sense, because at this point Hannibal dominates.
Speaker 1Rome, the Roman Republic. So where was Hannibal from?
Speaker 2Carthage, he was Carthaginian, which was like north africa.
Speaker 1north africa, yeah, modern day he was like I want to take that little sliver.
Speaker 2Well, this is the second punic war, if I remember right. I want to take that little land that looks like florida, if yeah if I were. Yeah, they knew florida at the time if I remember right, the first punic war roman, the romans won, and so this was sort of like a retaliation. That hannibal was like yeah, yeah, okay. So that's how this was sort of like a retaliation.
Speaker 1That Hannibal was like yeah, yeah, okay, so that's how he was able to like I'm back. I think it was like he dominated Rome and then, very quickly after Rome became the Roman empire power.
Speaker 2It wasn't him that did that, though I think he lost it shortly after.
Speaker 1Oh, I'm sure I mean every 15 minutes you look at this thing and somebody else is conquering it and, like every year, it's so crazy to see like, the, the. There was a video online of like showing like the map of the world and showing it scale up and down of like who owned what territory over like the course of human history. It's fucking insane how fast things expand and collapse like the Mongolian era.
Speaker 2Oh, my God Like like oh, he took over, oh, and then it completely collapsed, okay I just feel like, cinematically, I'm surprised that this wasn't made into like an hbo series or something at some point already.
Speaker 3I know you know like that would make a great movie too soon soon.
Speaker 2Don't disrespect the dead.
Speaker 3Those 7,000 lives 70.
Speaker 1No, it's animal abuse because of the elephants and we don't, oh, okay.
Speaker 3It's too much. Did they ever? I mean, I'm sure they have. When was the last time they made a movie or a show about Gilgamesh I? Don't know, I don't know if I've ever even seen one.
Speaker 1I've seen like a story.
Speaker 3I definitely had to do some, because Gilgamesh that fascinates me too, first civilization, the first story, like that blows my mind. Well, that we know of anyways, it's like the oldest one we have, but like.
Speaker 2There's only one movie in history based on the epic of gilgamesh really and it's from 1975, of course, made in.
Speaker 1Uh, it's hungarian it's hungarian yeah, why has nobody made gilgamesh I don't know, I don't know how much we know about it, like we have some writings from that era right, we have a whole book, yeah, yeah, which is like Isn't.
Speaker 2Gilgamesh considered the first hero.
Speaker 3It's a hero's journey.
Speaker 2Every hero's journey is based on ours because he has a foundation in Gilgamesh.
Speaker 1Because they defined morals. That was the first time they described the moral compass of what a good person should be, even though it's a little skewed For the moral compass of what a good person should be, even though it's a little skewed for that era. Look at it from the context of the time, every good person owns at least 10 slaves.
Speaker 2That says that.
Speaker 1Right below. Free others with respect own slaves.
Speaker 2Do you know that Bad Friends podcast with Bobby Lee? There was a a clip from that where he was like you know, koreans, we might be, uh, you know whatever, but at least we never had a history of oppression. He's like what are you talking about? He's like we never owned slaves. They're like bullshit. And then he looks it up and it was like Koreans have the longest unbroken chain of slavery ownership in history, spanning almost 2,000 years. And he reads that and he's so baffled they're taking it back.
Speaker 1So it's hard to define exactly like slaves are like commonplace. Like you think these soldiers were like had a pride for their country, no, they probably were enslaved into it they probably did not want to, they were sold to the army.
Speaker 3Yeah, exactly, they were children. What else?
Speaker 1is there again? What else was there to do? How else were you going to eat? You were either going to steal it, which the penalty for thievery, death.
Speaker 2Or chop your hands off. Chop your hands off Death.
Speaker 1The penalty for you? Go hang out with your cousins at Christmas time. Boom, you get the cold and you die of fever. You know, like it was just horrible.
Speaker 3Well, and you probably they would sell their children. You know a merchant family or something.
Speaker 2Someone was like sorryby you gotta go to war, we're selling you to the army I think if there was a movie based around the second punic war with hannibal um, sounds like there is I almost feel like it would be more interesting to tell from the perspective of not hannibal, but from just like a soldier, you know probably.
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Speaker 3I mean I've. I mean. That's why I love 1917 so much. It's just a guy and it's so riveting to watch him. He's nobody, he's just a foot soldier and just seeing him go on his mission. I was running yeah, forrest Gump is in that movie.
Speaker 1Well, where can people find us?
Speaker 3they can find us on YouTube, Instagram, Spotify, any major podcast listening platform.
Speaker 1Flat. No, you're rattling that off. I love it.
Speaker 3But you can also come watch us live right now, although we're ending on YouTube, tuesdays 7 pm, pacific standard time, where we talk about a bunch of nonsense. And you know we started, we went all over today. We started with netflix movies, then we went to oppenheimer, the hitman brother of christopher nolan, that fucked us up you know,
Speaker 1and then really could use some more structure.
Speaker 2It's very unprofessional.
Speaker 1I'm not. My whole life is professional. I could use some chaos, unstructured chaos. Please, the worst kind. I like formalized chaos.
Speaker 2Isn't by definition chaos, unstructured yeah?
Speaker 3For some unstructured or structured chaos. You can tune in. Watch us leave a comment. Leave aructured. Yeah, for some unstructured or structured chaos, you can tune in. Watch us leave a comment. Leave a like.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3We'd really appreciate it, that's right baby. And remember, guys, with a good KD you get the Double, double, double, double.